from: silver

Let's talk music

LONG TIME NO BLOG!!!(This is a draft from October 2025). Sometimes when I get on my laptop. I get motivated to blog which is nice. I've been having issues with motivation lately so this is nice.

Currently listening to the new Rochelle Jordan album and I can't focus on the music. I do have some favorite songs on there already from the singles that were released before the full album was released. This is my second listen to the album and I may need a third because I can't tell what songs I like right now because I am trying to multitask and I. I don't know. #ADHD. My ADHD is magic when I play online jigsaw puzzles, Nonograms, or Sudoku (easier levels) and go on a music discography run. Don't really know what that's about.

Music

Music is my favorite thing about being alive. I have FOMO thinking about how when I die I'm going to miss out on so much new music. There is music being released everyday and so many other songs that have already been released that I haven't gotten to yet. I wish there was a thing where I can just put my brain into some software, have it speed run and listen to every single song in the world, have it pick out songs I like and put it into a playlist because music discovery run aftermath feels like heaven and hell.

Skipping…

I'm a bit picky about music. Actually I don't think picky is the right word for it. Let's just say I don't listen to music that doesn't scratch the itch. In the past, if I did not like a song in the first few seconds, I would skip it and never listen to it again. I believe I am growing, or at least I'm trying to grow from that "habit" because nowadays I'll give a song another try, or listen to the full song instead of skipping after the first few seconds. I also skip around through a song to the chorus/bridge to see if I will like the song or not. Lately I've been trying to avoid doing all of that. I've been actively putting in effort to listen to songs in their entirety over the fear that there's a part of a song that I skipped over that I would've liked had I not skimmed through it. I also feel guilty for skipping around because I think about how the artist(s) behind the song will think I'm evil for doing so. I am being watched and listened to…

Note: I only do the skipping with new (not newly released just new to me) songs. With songs I already have liked I don't skip around, but I do rewind to replay specific parts. Admittedly, I will skip a song that I already have liked if I'm not feeling it at that moment.

There are multiple reasons behind why I skip songs the way that I do.

There are probably more reasons. I just can’t think of them right now.

Music Discovery Run

Okay so. Music discovery run. Some days I will sit on my laptop or lay down with my phone in bed for hours looking for music. Basically a music discovery rotting session. I will admit it is a bit unhealthy sometimes. Only because of how long I do it for. Majority of the time, I will spend more than 24 hours just looking for music that "hits the spot," only taking breaks in between to use the bathroom. I’m scared I’m going to get a UTI because I will be fidgeting and shaking my leg in my bed because I have to pee so bad, but I can’t go until a certain checkpoint, like finishing an artist's discography. I really only have time to do this on weekends because I work full time. However, on weekdays I do a mini version of this, which is the same with less hours. When I get home from work I start, keep going, no sleep, even though I know I have to leave my house soon. I’m able to do this because of my constant fear of running out of time and thinking I will somehow die in the next 24 hours, which makes sleeping feel like a waste of my time.

At work I get to listen to music. YAY. But I haven't been recently. The problem is I can only have one earbud in which sucks, but I understand that it is for safety reasons. I don't want to listen to my music if I'm not listening with both ears. It makes me mad, but sometimes I really need that music to push through the day so I just deal with it. I can just play the music out loud from my phone speakers, but the quality sucks which bothers me and I’m also scared that my music will bother my coworkers. LOLZ XD.

I have a hard time doing music discovery runs on my phone. The cache builds up and I never have enough storage on my phone (I need to write about my storage issue.. another blog post idea!). I run into issues like songs disappearing from my liked songs, playlists, or queue list. Sometimes I will click on an album or artist's profile and it won’t load because I run out of storage. This gets me frustrated. Some days I don’t want to open my laptop or go sit at my desk for my computer. My weak solution for this is taking screenshots, but I only get to take around 3 before my phone doesn’t let me take anymore.

Oomph

The feeling music gives you is so unexplainable to me. Some songs just have that oomph to them. How else do I properly explain that oomph besides saying "that oomph" or that it scratches the itch in my brain? Maybe I just have a small vocabulary. It’s like one of those things where you can go to your friend and say “you know what I mean?” and they understand without you having to say anything else. It’s also like cuteness aggression with animals, but with music? I don’t know what I’m saying… I feel like I can better “explain” this in person with vocables, facial expressions, and body movements rather than with words with meanings?

I listen to a variety of genres as long as it has. The oomph. That THING. The scratch to the itch. As long as it's enjoyable and has that specific feeling I'm looking for I will be there. And I will be square ⃞⃞ (had to look up what this means because what does being square even mean).

It’s interesting how I can love a song so much while someone out there could hate it and vice versa. When others don't enjoy a song that I enjoy I get confused. Because what do you mean. Do you not hear what I'm hearing? I just sigh, because I know that's just how people (including me) are and move on. Maybe this is me not moving on though...

I can admit that a song is good but… just… not for me.
Will I call a song “shit from a butt?” Yes!
But do I hate it and think it's horrible? No…
Shit from a Butt ≠ Horrible/Hate it… at least to me
Shit from a Butt = not good to me subjectively

Unfortunately, music is subjective like everything else in the world so not everyone will like what I like and hear what I hear.

Fortunately, music is subjective. I think it's interesting to see what music everyone else likes and how different tastes in music can be from person to person.

Do I really care that much about others music tastes though?
No... I just think it's interesting.
Sry.
I’m just curious, more like nosy, and want to know everything about everything.
Sry.

“You don't get this song like I do.” This is a sentence I think about all the time LOL. But it is true. No one will have the same experience because everyone is different yadiyadiya. Two different people can love the same song but hear/listen to it differently. But also I always say “you get itttt” to people when they like a song I like. Am I lying to these people? It’s more of a “you get itttt” with a “but not like I do” in small print… Not in an asshole way though, it’s in a true way because ultimately they do get it.
You know?
It would be interesting if there was a song that every person to ever exist liked or loved.

I have so much more to say about all of this, but I will end it off with that.
Thank you if you’ve read all the way through to the end.
And if you skipped to the bottom hey…

In the beginning I mentioned that this is a draft from October 2025. A lot has changed since then and some of the things I said in this post don't apply to me now. There are also some things I said that I do not agree with anymore. I might write an updated version. I still wanted to put this out there (exposure therapy in a way), hence you being able to read it now!

Email me!
Published:
Last edited: 1 month, 2 weeks ago

#ADHD #FOMO #music #thoughts