"It's not you, it's me"
In the past, I would get annoyed when people asked me questions that they could easily find the answer to on the internet. Not with real life conversations, but in online conversations or texts. I think it's wonderful that we get to be curious and ask real human beings we know, or don't know, things. It has a certain charm. I wondered why it bothered me so much. Did some thinking and found the answer. Projection. Projection of my insecurities to be more specific. What had led me to the answer to my morning thoughts was this post written by Austin, which I had read and sent to a friend last night.
any time we interact with the world around us, it's in relation to our experience, our thoughts, our motives.
― it's not about you
It made me think about the phrase "It's not you, it's me" which seems to be a common excuse used when ending a relationship with someone. Is it an excuse or just the truth? Much to think about. Anyways. I've had my fair share of experiences saying this (similar, but in different phrasing), not in romantic relationships, but friendships. I don't take any of it back, because it was true to me in those moments. There were problems in those friendships, such as moral disagreements, leading to the "breakups," but ultimately, it was still about me. My thoughts. My feelings.1
Back to the topic of being asked questions. Quite often in the past, I worried of sounding "stupid" when asking anything (I don't do this often anymore, I'm working on it. and the work? It's working). This in turn, made me judgemental of others that did the same.
It's not you. It's me.
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Do not get me wrong. This is not to say the other parties' thoughts or feelings did not matter. I'm more so saying it as a reflection. How I was then. Things I didn't consider. Things I had yet to learn and experience.↩