I'm working on it.

23 Mar, 2026

Reading and editing my past blog posts. I unpublished 3 of them. As of now I don't fully understand my feelings about this. I need more time to process (part of why I'm even writing this in the first place).

On one hand, I am embarrassed by the amount of subtle/not so subtle negative self-talk that is in those posts. Saying things that fit into the "this is bad, but I'm not even going to try to fix it because I know I can't change" category. A lot of I can't do this I can't do that. How stuck you can become telling yourself that this is just how you are and there's nothing you can do about. Unlearning it is hard too, especially if you spent the majority of your life talking to yourself this way.¹ I still have some posts that somewhat fit into this criteria up on my blog. I want a bit of balance. Goldilocks.

On the other hand, I think it's great that I can unpublish. Having my blog full of hatred for myself is not one of my goals. I don't think it's "wrong" to have a blog like that. Blogging can be whatever you want it to be. Personally, this would not do any good to my mental. The posts are gone from the public, but I can still go back to view them for reflection.

In this post, I mentioned that a lot has changed in my life since I had last posted. One of those being my outlook on life and thoughts about myself. From mostly negative to now positive. Lately, I've been saying "I'm working on it." I really am. I've been trying less to give up on myself and instead doing more of believing in myself. I'm not even close to loving myself all the way, but hey. I'm working on it.

Sidenote: I am a bit self-conscious about publishing this because I'm worried about it sounding like self-help slop. But this is my blog. The unpublish button is always there. And also who cares? Me. I'm working on it.

Published: 23 Mar, 2026
Last edited: 1 month, 2 weeks ago
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#personal #thoughts